RE-SET EP. 006 - How do you deal with someone who’s stubborn?

MIINKAY:  I get mad. And then diplomatic. They’re clearly not listening to what I’m saying. They just get an idea in their head and then get stubborn at that.

Reacting vs responding. They get annoyed that you’re annoyed and then get stubborn about what you’re bringing.

Not get triggered by someone’s stubbornness.

Try to compromise. Talk it out right away.

Try not to take it personally.



I really related to this clip because he reminds me of my own dad. I feel like I get pushed into a corner in a disagreement and have to fight to get my thoughts out. His response at the end of the first scene is so sharp and brutal. My dad responds like that too. He doesn’t say the same things but is close to it. And we always have to swallow our pride afterward. No matter how bitter we might feel from our earlier encounter.


Trust is tough when people in your life have failed you time and time again. It’s hard to open up and be vulnerable with a significant other when you have fears and insecurities that you might be abandoned again somehow. The way she opens her heart up to him only for him to close off and shrink away from what they could be is something I have experienced in the past. It’s hard to love someone who is that stubborn.


When you work with someone who’s stubborn it can trigger your own stubbornness. You have to bend like the willow tree. You find a two way street for you both to be happy on. Getting them to understand that you are not trying to be malicious and not completely selfish. But you still have to uphold your own values. You have to remind others of the bigger picture when there are conflicting views and bruised egos.

Live stream aired on Tuesday October 27, 2020 via Twitch

RE-SET EP. 002 - How has growing up Asian-American affected our mental health over time?

Miinkay: Even though it’s all about family, it’s really about self-sacrificing. It’s humble but superficial. A lot of pride but not rubbing it in other people’s faces. You’re supposed to be better than everybody else. You’re supposed to be rich and humble at the same time. How does that work?

My dad was very much about getting good grades, being a doctor, all the superficial standards for success. It’s very unhealthy. It creates a toxic mindset. You have to value yourself by how much money you make. Or how successful your kids are. Those are such superficial things. It fucked me up.

Once I had all that, and I got there, I realized this sucks. I realized this is not what it’s supposed to be. I was 25 or 26 and I had been working and I landed my first 6-figure job. That’s what moved me to LA. Then I realized this was bullshit. It was so empty and meaningless and depressing. Being so focused on money. There’s never an end to it because you can always have more money.

That’s been the biggest mental health hurdle: being satisfied with where you are. Both cultures are about making tons of money. Money centric attitude. Asian culture says make a lot of money by working hard and playing smart. American culture says make a lot of money by being clever and creating the next new things.

BELINDA: I feel like I had to build an armor to wear over my skin from being a child of immigrants. My parents moved here from Hong Kong when they were teenagers and had to work really hard just to feed themselves. They instilled a survivor mindset onto me early on in life.

Having grown up in a communist country themselves that was occupied by the British in their earlier years, they experienced scarcity in a way I never had to. I was born into a democracy where individualism is encouraged. The family-centric values from traditional Chinese society are held very loosely here. Having to live with two different value systems is honestly a lot to make sense of.  

Asian countries tend to be based on the collective unit over the individual self. Working for the family or the community instead of yourself. You don’t normally follow your dreams. My mom built my brain for war by giving me the 36 Strategies of the Three Kingdoms in graphic novel form when I was 5 years old. She also gave me books on filial piety around that time too.

You’re supposed to help the elderly and respect your elders. Individual thought is not encouraged. It’s very much built on power dynamics. You function inside a box. I had to pave my own way outside of this construct for my own sanity over time.

Live stream aired on Tuesday August 25, 2020 via Twitch